no sex

  • Tuesday, June 23, 2020

Las Vegas - Some surveys can be very informative, and some surveys can be very, how can I say this, RIDICULOUS.

Some firm spent thousands of dollars on a survey about my people, sports bettors, and found out that sports bettors are a quote "very appealing demographic." DUH!!! You shoulda just called me. I woulda saved you thousands and given the same answer. Again, DUH!!!

Then there are some surveys that you NEED to know about.

We know that pickup trucks are everywhere, and people love 'em. I even had a 318 Dodge short block for years. So some enterprising outfit asked what people would give up instead of giving up their truck for a year. You ready? You sitting?

Starting at the top...

- 82% would give up Netflix, Hulu, or Amazon Prime Video.

- 79% would give up drinking alcohol.

- 71% would give up drinking coffee.

- 47% would give up using a phone.

- 44% would give up eating meat.

- 38% would give up sex.

Obviously, they didn't call and ask me. Not gonna give up Netflix or Hulu for my pickup. Don't really drink so that's a non-issue. Coffee? Are you freakin' kidding me? Gotta have at least a 20 oz. mug of Intelligentsia coffee to start EVERY day. Give up the phone? That's a firm no. Don't eat meat, so that's another non-issue. Giving up sex? Again, ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME IN ALL CAPS!!!

Okay, lets swing back to England for a little Premier League action, and we're looking at the Tottenham vs. West Ham United match in the London Derby. Even though, as you know, I detest the Spurs, because my wife is a huge fan, my wallet has no emotional ties. After a 1-1 draw with Manchester United on Friday, Tottenham gets Dele Alli back, and he's a YUGE difference maker. The Spurs are sitting in the 8th slot on 42 points, with 11 wins, 10 losses and 9 draws. They've scored 48 goals and allowed 41 for a +7 goal differential. The Hammers, yea, very cool nickname, are in the ugly zone, or as they call it in England, the relegation zone. At the end of every season, the bottom three teams are KICKED OUT of the Premier League, and drop down to the English Football League Championship (level 2). Kinda like getting banished from the NBA to the NBA G League. West Ham is sitting in the 17th slot on 27 points, which is tied with Bournemouth. The Hammers have only 7 wins, have 17 losses and have posted 6 draws. They've scored 35 goals and allowed 52 for an awful -17 goal differential. Don't tell Mrs. Ecks & Bacon, but I'm dropping a full Benjamin on the Harry Hotspurs for an easy W.